Prolate Spheroid
The three worst playcalls and the single best one from last week's NFL action:
The Worst:
*Mike Nolan, 49ers vs. Seahawks: Your opponent is starting one wide receiver who didn't play football last year and another one who is an undrafted rookie. And you play the whole game in nickel formation? It didn't even work: Hasselbeck got the ball to his receivers, who were open. They just kept dropping the ball. Yeah, you won the game, but only because your opponent had more injuries than Saint Sebastian.
*Scott Linehan, Rams vs. Giants: There wasn't any single move you made that was awful. But your decision to not quit during the offseason is the call that you blew. Your team is as bad as any in the history of the game. It doesn't matter how well you call plays when the team you lead is down by twenty points throughout the game.
*Mike Smith, Falcons vs. Buccaneers: The tradition of arguing with the officials is one of the worst aspects of this sport. The biggest nagger, we seem to be telling our children, is the one who wins. So kudos to rookie coach Mike Smith. You kept your mouth shut all day until it mattered. The officials mistakenly announced that two penalties by the Buccaneers offset each other, giving Tampa Bay posession of the ball after a fumble. You started to blow your top, but then went out fifteen yards into the field and stood there, hands behind your back and mouth closed, contrite-schoolboy style. You risked a personal foul penalty for the team, but by not screaming and remaining on the field, you forced the official to meet with you. Ten seconds of calm explanation caused the official to correct his error and changed the posession--rightfully--back to the Falcons. A good coach chooses his battles with officials and, when he decides to engage, acts like a dishonored professional, not like Tonya Harding.
The Best:
*Bill Belichick, Patriots vs. Jets: One probably assumes that Mike Shanahan should get this commendation for his famous two-point play. That was courageous and all, but it wasn't good play-calling. It was a roll of the dice. You, on the other hand, pulled a little trick that resulted in your team garnering a few extra yards during a fourth quarter punt. The Jets were out of timeouts when the New England offense came on for a surprise fourth down attempt. Suddenly the Pats fled the field and the punt team came on and quickly kicked the ball. That might seem simple, but in reality it's a feat of choreography that rivals the Beijing Olympics' opening ceremony. The Jets were left with their defense on the field and couldn't properly return the punt. It was just a few yards. But it's a miracle for a coach to earn a few yards in the ebbing minutes of a close game. It's no wonder that your team is 2-0 even though you've been forced to play Sarah Palin at quarterback.
The Worst:
*Mike Nolan, 49ers vs. Seahawks: Your opponent is starting one wide receiver who didn't play football last year and another one who is an undrafted rookie. And you play the whole game in nickel formation? It didn't even work: Hasselbeck got the ball to his receivers, who were open. They just kept dropping the ball. Yeah, you won the game, but only because your opponent had more injuries than Saint Sebastian.
*Scott Linehan, Rams vs. Giants: There wasn't any single move you made that was awful. But your decision to not quit during the offseason is the call that you blew. Your team is as bad as any in the history of the game. It doesn't matter how well you call plays when the team you lead is down by twenty points throughout the game.
*Mike Smith, Falcons vs. Buccaneers: The tradition of arguing with the officials is one of the worst aspects of this sport. The biggest nagger, we seem to be telling our children, is the one who wins. So kudos to rookie coach Mike Smith. You kept your mouth shut all day until it mattered. The officials mistakenly announced that two penalties by the Buccaneers offset each other, giving Tampa Bay posession of the ball after a fumble. You started to blow your top, but then went out fifteen yards into the field and stood there, hands behind your back and mouth closed, contrite-schoolboy style. You risked a personal foul penalty for the team, but by not screaming and remaining on the field, you forced the official to meet with you. Ten seconds of calm explanation caused the official to correct his error and changed the posession--rightfully--back to the Falcons. A good coach chooses his battles with officials and, when he decides to engage, acts like a dishonored professional, not like Tonya Harding.
The Best:
*Bill Belichick, Patriots vs. Jets: One probably assumes that Mike Shanahan should get this commendation for his famous two-point play. That was courageous and all, but it wasn't good play-calling. It was a roll of the dice. You, on the other hand, pulled a little trick that resulted in your team garnering a few extra yards during a fourth quarter punt. The Jets were out of timeouts when the New England offense came on for a surprise fourth down attempt. Suddenly the Pats fled the field and the punt team came on and quickly kicked the ball. That might seem simple, but in reality it's a feat of choreography that rivals the Beijing Olympics' opening ceremony. The Jets were left with their defense on the field and couldn't properly return the punt. It was just a few yards. But it's a miracle for a coach to earn a few yards in the ebbing minutes of a close game. It's no wonder that your team is 2-0 even though you've been forced to play Sarah Palin at quarterback.
posted by Sam Jaffe at
10:04 AM
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